I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
