Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
