my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize