I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
