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Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize