we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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