I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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