so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
