the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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