i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize