True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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