I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible idea I love it
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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