You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
