I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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