if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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