Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
