i think my mom watched the whole time
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
