I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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