my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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