there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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