You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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