We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize