he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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