sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
