I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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