is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize