We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
