Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
