I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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