As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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