i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
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I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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