Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
