you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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