I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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