6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
