He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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