I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think pants incapable of making pants work