I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
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I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
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That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.