Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.