I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.