Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday