I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
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Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
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I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.