I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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