Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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