im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
