so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
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I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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