I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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