i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
