Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
