Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
