We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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