Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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