OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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