I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
