it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
did i just pee glitter
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
