i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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