Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
