I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
