i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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