Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
