If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Randomize
