I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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